Slow Down and Live

The day before yesterday I worked, went to soccer practice, took dinner to a friend, dropped kids with mom, decorated the church for VBS, picked up the kids, took them home and put them into bed. They slept the whole ride home, so I was elated to skip bedtime drama. However, mid-delectable-nightcap-ice cream-bite, my toddler quietly snuck into the kitchen and said, “Mommy I can’t sleep unless you come lay with me. I want to watch a movie.” How do I say no? I haven’t seen her all day. So away I go, forfeiting my quiet time to fall asleep in a twin bed watching Brave.  My Monday and Tuesday were similar with odd jobs and errands and obligations all day long into the evening, so I haven’t spent much time at home this week at all.

As you can imagine, I was so thankful to have NOTHING planned yesterday after work. Never mind that we don’t get home until 6, and the kids’ bedtime starts at 8:30, I was excited about spending some quality time.  But the sink was full of dishes and someone had wet the bed and the house smelled like dusty, stale trash and urine-filled murky dishwater. So, while attempting to tame that beast, I remembered something I saw on Facebook (Like all responsible parents, I get all of my socialization, news, and daily inspiration from Facebook) that recommended certain household chores broken down into age appropriate groups.  I remember the glorious moment when I realized that my kids don’t do any chores and this is a perfect way to be together and get things done at the same time!

I could make a chart and have stickers and organization and incentives and competitions and rewards and --- except I am tired and who has time for that, so instead I put on my ‘have-I-got-a-treat-for-you’ face and excitedly explained how the children are finally old enough to help mommy with bog boy and girl tasks! I used all of the Fun Mom voice I could muster and they bought it! Oh it was wonderful.  Maia was using the brush and pan to “sweep” the bathroom floors (really just spreading dirt about), and Noah was dusting the living room while I cleaned bathrooms and emptied trash.  Maia helped me load the dishwasher and Noah helped me unload and load laundry.

It was not ideal. We didn’t laugh and have a slow motion water fight or put stickers on a chart, but we all cleaned up and the kids felt useful and I made all over them about how impressed I was with their helper skills. By the time we had finished it was nearly bed time, but I lay down on my bed, utterly exhausted, and Maia brought me a picnic on my bed. I still had sheets to put on a bed and trash to take out, but that was the best darn pretend food I’ve ever had.  

I meant to clip the dogs’ toenails and get some other work done, but instead I decided that letting the kids go to bed in front of a movie was just not enough after the week we’ve had. It was a read books to the kids kind of night. To my surprise, the kids didn’t fight the book idea. They each grabbed 4 or 5 books (I had to remind them the 2- each limit). So, we read and read and read. And the listened intently and asked relevant questions and made astute observations and I realized these guys are growing up, so fast.

I tucked Noah in and he was asleep before I even left his room. I lay down with Maia for a moment and curled up with her back to me, she turned around and quietly said “Thanks for reading those books”.  It took my breath away that she even cared. We moms seldom get thank you’s from our kids. We don’t expect or need them. But wow, what an impact. I want to feel like that every night.

 

After putting on the bed sheets and taking out the trash, I finally lay down to read my book, and hubs gets home. He meanders into the room and lies down beside me. I love him so much and miss him not being home most nights, but somehow he almost always manages to come home right as I am getting my first moment of relaxation to myself. I try my best not to be annoyed and look at him, ready to listen. He wants to read a devotional, which he knows I normally love and need. So I listen to him read to me, and we discuss it and I thank him for reading me a book.

Funny how making a deliberate (and sometimes strained) effort to ignore my plans in light of others fulfillment makes me feel the most content.  Thank God for growth, and enjoyment in simple moments with my sweet family. Thank You for the motivation to be less selfish with my time. Thank You (in advance) for helping me remember this.